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Fela Durotoye says : Recently, I made a comment on my FaceBook Fan page and profile about a covenant that I’d made with God over sexual fidelity with my wife, Tara on pain of death.
I got quite a few email messages asking me to explain what I meant. So this note is my attempt to put this all into perspective.
In 2001, while seeking God’s guidance after leaving Phillips Consulting and establishing Eden (which is our Christian lifestyle and entertainment group…today resident on 7 University campuses); I had received instruction to set up V.I.P Consulting (which is today known as Visible Impact), God revealed to me. 3 “Destiny Traps” that the devil uses to derail people from achieving their purpose.
These 3 Destiny Traps were described to me as:
• The love of money
• The lust and quest for power
• (Pre) or Extra Marital Sex
Some of you might have heard that I made a covenant of fidelity with God that if I ever tried to sleep with any woman who wasn’t Tara that I’d die before I could even attempt to.
Since that day, I’ve come to consider any woman who seeks to attract my attention for seduction; as an assassin! I also believe that any bed that I commit adultery with another woman is a coffin!
Therefore since neither assassins nor coffins hold any allure for me, I’m covered by God’s grace and resist the lust for extra marital sex!
Regarding the lust and quest for power, I got to understand that there are 3 levels:
• Motivational / Inspirational Leadership
• Relational Leadership
• Positional Leadership
From our conversations, I discovered that positional leadership is the lowest level while the other levels are available and bestowed on you. Relational and Inspirational leadership are extremely powerful forms of leadership.
Let me explain, the late M.K.O Abiola was an inspirational leader. Unfortunately, he died in his quest for positional leadership, because he literally stooped to pick up a lower level of influence.
Other great inspirational leaders have included Martin Luther King and Mahatma Gandhi who died, not having any positional power and became exceedingly great because of motivational and inspirational power.
In our generation, we’ve seen the likes of Nelson Mandela and Barack Obama who expressed and harnessed the power of inspirational leadership to effect change in their nations.
And concerning the 3rd level of Destiny Traps; which is money, let me give you a teaser!
God clearly showed me the distinction between riches and wealth.
• Riches are fleeting, while wealth endures.
• Riches don’t guarantee wisdom as we’ve seen in the Scriptures as described by the “rich fool” in Luke 12:16-21 and it also grows wings and flies away as Solomon, the wealthiest man alive; succinctly recorded.
• Only God gives you the power to make wealth (Deuteronomy 8:18).
• Riches are a function of wealth, but wealth is riches and so much more!
So I humbly ask that you once again, pay for me that God will release to me, the spirit of utterance and that no life will ever remain the same from their encounter with God.
If you’ve been in any way inspired by my articles, could you be a blessing to as many people as you can by “tagging” them so that they can join our fan page.
LMAO: 20K for what?
She's a universiy year-three girl who had been busy showing and making fake love. Oh well…to me, having sex is not the same as making love. She’d been doing "touch me, tease me" all through the ASUU University strike with this working class old-boy, who happens to be my friend, and now I suppose that since university had been re-opened, her young developing brain sensed that this supposedly sharp boy will settle for her flaunting friend that is better and finer, although her friend was still struggling with JAMB class and Further-Math tutorials, just to read computer science in the university but has been unable to gain admission. And as the sharp girl that she thought of herself, just before she could ‘tax’ the guy since he’s working and she’d be going back to school came the need to change her wardrobe. Her plan was to collect some money and then end the relationship, knowing the obvious. She had to do this knowing that she could not pretend to be faithful, talk less of staying that way. She also knew the same of the guy.
Days before the day she was supposed to break up with my friend, he first and foremost broke up with her saying to me " ol'boy, this girl no be good girl and e no go make sense say she go dey cheat on me with possibly one small year one buccaneer boy for campus", he went further ahead saying "ol'boy I don break up, afterall her school far and dem no dey send knacks over midnight call and facebook".
I love this pair for both running games on each other, no one played fair, so like the game goes on…subconsciously, no one wanted to lose out. The next development was for her to show up saying that she had lost her period, perhaps pregnant as it is. Lovely, and am LMAO.
Why shouldn't I laugh when two jokers show up on stage? Funny enough, this guy became restless and wanted my sincere advice. So i said “ boy, If u're in doubt, just stay calm and ask the “smallie”, what she wants to do?”.
I sincerely think that a girl with an unwanted pregnancy subconsciously and pre-meditatively already makes her decision of whether or not she’d keep it. So the first step is to stay calm, hear her own view, and if she feels that every fertilized egg is a human and should live then, kai! Oga, you have work and if that child grows up to be something great in the future, am sure you don’t want him/her to know you’ve never wanted him/her to live, especially if you deny and abandon the mum and the child to the point where the mother sinks that fact into his/her head, so be tactful.
Back to the story , with that as an option and the other being that if very sure that it’s false and she wants to turn you into a 20k “Maga” by Saying that she needs twenty thousand naira for D & C (Deleting and Commoting…lol, a.k.a criminal Abortion) then it gives a clue . No stress, if it was me, I’d tell her I’d not only want to see the pregnancy shoot out but will want to see when the child grows up, and if the baby grows up with a slanted small Chinese looking like eyes, sweaty palms and a gap teeth, then its mine…lol.
But I dared him to tell her that, so he settles to make her a promise to provide 20 thousand naira.
Days after, he shows up the day he promised her of the money, aware of her absence, he walks dead drunk and smelling of weed and gin straight into the gathering of her both parents, pastor and people she fears so much and perhaps think of her as still a small good girl. Cautious of the fact that her pregnancy claim spots on as fake as he finds out. Also, he had found out that this girl had actually just borrowed 20 thousand naira to do her shopping (the same amount she is asking for as a medical fee to get rid of their supposed baby). So, with a slur he tells the pastor and her parents to warn her to not abort "his baby". That way, later she would have to explain to them how a virgin ‘dey take get belle” and at worst for a drunk drug abuser.
Lovely story with a little twist of humour. But in-depth, its really not what it is, deeply I write otherwise. I am actually talking about life but then, if you don’t understand it, it’s okay to remain on the surface as I dedicate this story to people we really don’t think about, who happen to be those PEOPLE THAT NEVER WERE, as a result of what you will understand the story to be. This story is dedicated to all the birthdays that never were as a result of the abortion of an unwanted pregnancy, to those virtual kids that died before they were ever born because there destiny’s were in the hands of irresponsible cowards, who were so afraid and unable to let a sprouting life live. ( I sincerely don’t know how much scope this covers, should the range cover people who stop births by either D&C operations, contraceptives, abortions, careless miscarriages, or even as far as condoms and masturbations). This write-up isn’t directed to just one gender, so whether you used the condom, had an operation, took the pills or help buy or aware of its usage, you are one of the reasons why we try not to judge but dedicate this note as it says “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL THOSE THAT COULD HAVE BEEN”. But I guess everyone that is reading this should be considered lucky and special because you as well could have been aborted but wait, don’t feel so special for your life can still be aborted but sadly enough, it will have to be by you.
Everyday we see people carry out criminal abortions, as they live through their actions and choices and then pre-meditatively and subconsciously terminate lives by unhealthy and careless lifestyles.
If the moral in this point of view doesn’t make that much sense, perhaps we should move deeper to the values our religions teach us.
(Reread this story if you can and you may understand it better- the year-one girl refers to you, and the boy refers to the unhealthy but fun & convenient things we do and the entire story refers to the consequences and then what happens when we try to get away).
Two Theories of Money
There are two theories behind money and they represent the two categories of people in this world. Even as I choose to be neutral with my judgment on this note in terms of which one is better, but the worse of the two is theory C person who’s lifestyle isn't applicable to neither, so he’s always stuck, never comfortable or balances with his finances.
I'd call these theories of money Theory A and Theory B, which is our subconscious theories towards money and our approaches to finance and our lifestyle.
A person with theory A attitude chooses to be intelligently economical with using money, buying things he unavoidably wants or needs while theory B person intelligently finds a way to buy things that he avoidably cannot afford, wants or needs. If theory A and B person goes to a mall with the same amount of limited fund, theory A person buys what his pocket can afford and then leaves to do more important things without seeing the other things he can't afford in the same shop or other shops in the mall. This is because he knows he can't afford them but theory B person does the same shopping as theory A person, but this time goes further window shopping, looking out for other things that he cannot afford, noting their prices and then leaves with the mentality of buying them.
The Strength of a Woman.
I was inspired to write this while playing back memories of when I once travelled all night by bus from Lagos to Port Harcourt. I remember that by my seat sat this old man that looked finished and scraggy but what attracted me to this man was the knowledge he had and the way he spoke. And like the natural me, I kicked a conversation with him as we stopped at Onitsha for a break. He brought out a lighter and asked me if I smoked and with the fear of not losing this new found friendship, I played the con as I lit up the Benson stick shared with a bottle of stout only to turn it off with a smile that spelt not a smoker anymore. And then he proceeded with a story of his life.
In a deep tone he told tales of his life and then said “Son, I’ve lived life, I’ve made mistakes, I know these words don’t match my looks but I am glad you gave me a chance to chat with you” as he continued. He proceeded saying “you see, I should have had it all but traded doing the right things with what I wanted to do and what we always want to do might not be the best things to do, my problem in life can be summarized in one word, Women”.
These words stuck to me as he proceeded with words of wisdom that eventually became a part of this writing that you read. I remember he also said “No matter what, never lay your hands on a woman, stay off your best friends sister or girlfriend, always give something for a woman’s sex because except for a prostitute, no woman gives her body to a man just like that so in a woman’s head there’s no such thing as we just had sex and that was it”. He explained how women dwell in an emotional frame that the men refuse to acknowledge, the same way we do not see the strength of a woman till it’s used against us. He continued by saying “my whole downfall started when I fell to the spell of seduction and love till a woman and the things that comes with it took the best of my time, thoughts and resources and by the time I realized it, son, it was too late” . Further ahead our conversation, I must have felt sorry for him as I got his point of view in relation to how many men has also falling never to rise again all because of their lack of discipline and control to issues concerning lust and women .
This old man, a stranger to me continued by saying “I wonder how smart and wise King Solomon was if he fell foolishly to the act of a woman, or if David could go against goliath with a stone then how come he couldn't conquer a mere emotion called lust and by the way, the bible should have just told us that the only thing stronger than Samson in the bible was Delilah, else what could have stopped the strongest man in the world if not for Delilah”. Personally, in all his examples, I fell so in love with the story he told of the great Julius Caesar and then I stumbled deeper into the personal life of Caesar.
He told me a true life story, a tale of the great Julius Caesar and Cleopatra. Julius Caesar’s had a love affair with Cleopatra who happened to be a woman from Egypt, matter of fact she remains the last monarch from Egypt . She became flirty with the most influential people in Rome and among them includes the likes of Mark Anthony and off course the Great Caesar.
Julius Caesar remains one the greatest ruler ever known with a dictatorship that pivoted Rome’s transition from republic to empire, he conquered so many territories including Britain and was known for his swiftness and intellects. He actually invented the date numbering system through the solar measure of time and this became the basis of the modern calendar where he changed the name of the month Quintilis to Julius (July), this he named after himself. Apart from his strong military skill and leadership quality, he was very charismatic, artistic and an orator (and actually owns the saying Venni vetti Vecci translated as "I Came ,I saw and I conquered"). But this man’s strength wasn’t as strong as his weakness for the strength of a woman as seen in his downfall relative to Cleopatra. Cleopatra was a woman that possessed strength and lusty charm, this even had Ptolemy XIII drowned in the Nile in the course of battle and With this victory, Caesar easily could have declared Egypt a Roman province, but instead he retained Cleopatra as queen just because they were having something together. As a matter of fact, after the war incidence and Caesar's victory, Cleopatra was obligated by custom to marry her other younger brother, Ptolemy XIV, who was about 12 years old but since Caesar and Cleopatra had become lovers, that wasn't applicable. The great Caesar could not have fallen or maybe he could have been greater had he not falling to the strength of a woman. Meanwhile, Caesar and Cleopatra had become lovers. So many times he delayed attending to important matters of the state to remain in Egypt, Cleopatra even took him on a sightseeing cruise up the Nile, and there he would stupidly be seen sailing the royal barge plus 400 of his ships in a display that Cleopatra used to show off power to her people. Caesar delayed attending to important matters of state to remain in Egypt. This frequent show of emotion especially canal love and lust led to the great Julius Caesar’s fall as Cleopatra sometimes joined Caesar in Rome, bringing unnecessary things and people with her and they’d live in one of Caesar’s villas as his mistress while they both ruled Egypt and Rome by dispatch. Meanwhile, many Romans grew suspicious of this development. Rumors spread that he intended to subvert the Roman Republic and establish a monarchy, ruling as a king with Cleopatra, a despised foreigner, as his queen. This threatened the prestige of many members of the Roman Senate, so on March 15 in 44 BC a mob of Roman senators led by Brutus assassinated Caesar and the best Cleopatra did was to quickly return to Egypt as her power was no longer secured by Caesar’s influence.” This is a true story told to me by a stranger so I decided to write about it in relation to the strength of a woman.
It’s a man’s world but women control it so like the rapper Nas said, “Whose world is it?” Perhaps I can lend you my theory that says that the world is mine because I choose how I create it and no, even this seems not far from the biblical perception of creation. Since the world is made by God and us in his own image, logically it means that I can really use the power of his image to create mine, my world that is. And this same theory isn’t far from that of the renowned Free Mason member and perhaps the greatest prime minister to ever walk through the face of the earth while fighting Adolf Hitler, I mean the former British prime minister, Winston Churchill as he once said “we create our own universe as we move”. Yes we do, by the choices we make through our thoughts and actions. This same thoughts and action determines a man’s faith in the seductive world controlled by women as well as that emotional and sexual urge that influences our wants, till we fall to a false comfort we need so much away from the sacrifice we fail to make not knowing that the compromise we make might Just be us trading our tomorrow for today, our lives for death and our success for failure. Every day, a lot of men do this simply by falling to the spells of the strength of a woman. Personally, I think that women are great people and a gift to humanity but am talking about the other sharp edge of a woman that causes seduction and the self destruction of a man. This is to say that women are not destructive but possess a spirit that can make a man that “chooses” to fall a self destruction mostly by seduction which can’t take to fruition without the consent of a man. This also is to say that Seduction is a mind game which works with the help of our imaginations. It takes more than attempts to be lured; it works on the mind of people who subconsciously have space and time for it.
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